Wednesday

It's now been over a week and I have yet to update. I keep meaning to write but...what to write about?

I have been reading a lot more lately. The last 3 books were The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Ham on Rye, and now reading Gone Girl. They all have the whole "writing to my diary" vibe. It is inspiring while I am soaking in the book but afterwards I never really set time aside to write and whatever thoughts flittered through my mind are long gone.

Do I aspire to be a writer? Is that what I want? What would I write about? Could I actually develop characters and a whole plot revolving around those characters?

Perhaps I can keep this blog going for myself as practice. It'll keep me focused and into the habit of writing more often.

I always assumed that with a nice set up the words would just come to me. I remember when I first moved into a bigger bedroom, at age 15, and my eyes immediately went to the two windows facing the backyard. They were evenly divided on one side of the wall and I thought how great it would be to put a desk between them so that I could write and have the sun stream in through the windows. I imagined writing and looking up every so often to the trees and birds outside. Of course things didn't go that way.  When I was at my desk, my time was spent instant messaging friends and "surfing the web" via land line (painfully slow) or doing homework. I only attempted short stories once or twice and by now they are gone along with the old computer my dad gave away.

I still long for the perfect writing spot but if and when it ever happens I will still probably end up writing in bed in my pajamas.

wander..

Spent a couple minutes reading the very few past entries. I noticed I mentioned travel more than once. At some point I seemed very doubtful of being able to take the vacation I wanted. Having just come back from my second Europe trip makes me realize that anything is possible.

The first time I really got the urge to travel was when my brother's teacher sent him a postcard from Greece. I know it wasn't for me but I couldn't help save it. I held it in my hands knowing that this little piece of paper had started off so, so many miles away and had now made its way to me. It was exhilarating. Even know, the thought makes me smile. In my heart I knew the feeling would never go away. And so my heart broke a tiny bit because as a kid I just didn't think it would be possible. My family didn't spend money on anything extravagant and that included cable tv. So how would I ever be able to make it?

In social studies class we'd learn about mummies and the pyramids and I would dream of going to Egypt. In science our teacher would bring in sand from different beaches outside California and I would wonder what it would be like to feel the sand and sun there for myself.

I finally realize that it is true what they say; if you want it bad enough you will make it happen.

I can and will continue to dream..and to make those dreams become reality.

A little reminder to myself:

Dublin

London

Paris

Barcelona

Madrid